Today was Sunshine’s last day of school. It’s been a day we’ve been looking forward to for so long. Do you know how hard it’s been not to withdraw her after we decided to keep her home next year? How hard it’s been to convince her to wake up each morning when I know she’s not learning anything academic these last few weeks? How hard it’s been to smile at people I’m not fans of when I know I don’t have to interact with them next year? I really, really didn’t want to send her, but I knew I had to. I knew she needed closure, a good, healthy end to this period of her life. So I sent her.
But on the last day of school, I just couldn’t go. I have loved and adored Sunshine’s teachers and school. If I could have picked anywhere for her to go and anyone to mentor her, it would have been at this school with these people. They have been so, so good to her. She has blossomed and grown.
And now we’re leaving? I felt like I was trying to peacefully divorce someone. How do you say goodbye to someone when you don’t like them enough to stay? How do you choose to leave someone for something better, without saying the new way is better and hurting their feelings? The whole thing was going to be too hard for me and I’m not good at goodbyes normally.
So, I sent Don and I stayed home with the littles. We made banners and played with Daddy’s hammers.
It was the chicken’s way out.